Dosencremekotze
Many, many years ago I was in love with a wonderful and quite beautiful young women, who possessed a plethora of good qualities. That I was most undeserving of her goes without saying. She was educated, open-minded and well-read. As a premium she was also quite the chef.
The first time she visited me at my place (it was our third date, we had kissed for the first time just the day before) she brought all the ingredients for a carrot soup. The recipe was as unique as herself. I have forgotten most of the components, but I know for sure there were ginger and champagne involved. She was on a mission to save me from what she branded 'Dosencremekotze'; an, in my personal opinion, quite acceptable canned mushroom cream soup. For those of you who are not familiar with the German language, this heavily compressed word can be loosely translated to 'canned cream-vomit'. Admittedly, compared to her carrot soup this was an accurate description.
This young woman has long moved on and is now with a man much better than myself, but the term she coined that night has stayed with me ever since. Whenever I eat something that is of questionable gustatory or nutritional value I think of 'Dosencremekotze'. If you ask me, it should be added to the Duden, the German equivalent of the Oxford Dictionary.